Naming Your Business is No Joke

Jeffrey Smith

A loose cannon by right of descent, Jeffrey developed a fascination with figuring out anything related to computers precisely because he never even saw one in school. He’s been writing for over thirty years and blogging for five, primarily on local history, medieval history, church architecture, and religious art. Jeffrey describes his interests as, “too confounded many for a well-ordered life.”

Jeffrey Smith

Last updated on May 31st, 2013

“The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;”

T. S Eliot was right in saying that naming a cat isn’t a holiday game. Neither is naming your business. The worst thing you can do is to grab the first name that comes to mind. You need to take it slowly, research if fully, and ask for advice. If you don’t, and you make a mistake, you might be stuck with a name that will do more harm than good.

Cute has been done to death

It may seem like a wonderful idea to name your business The Jewel Box, The Book Nook, or O K Service, but have a look around Google before you apply for your business registration. It might not look so good when you find five hundred other business, all over the landscape, using the same name.

It’s no joking matter

Naming your restaurant The Road Kill Cafe or your campground Poison Ivy Acres might seem like fun, but stop and think. What are the odds that not everyone will share your sense of humor? Plenty of people are just going to shake their heads and say WTF? You can’t afford to have a name that will make customers go elsewhere.

It may be your name, but….

Using your last name as part of your business name is easy, but it can cause problems. Don’t try it if you want to open a restaurant and your name’s McDonald, for example. Jones is a fine name, but Jones’ Jewelry sounds a bit blah, doesn’t it? If your name is Srp ( Real name, BTW ), consider whether your customers will be able to pronounce it. Maybe you’d best try this one only if your name is both uncommon and easily pronounced.

Things can be twisted

Dissatisfied customers can be nasty. If they have a way with words and an amused audience your name could be mud fast. Think about how many words, which could seem quite innocent when you put them in your business name, could become nicknames you’ll never lose. Beef could become barf, crepes could,….well, you get the picture.

And don’t. Just don’t…..

…..get yourself on a list like this. You may have a crowd outside your door taking pictures to post to Facebook, but will they come in? Take the advice of Eliot’s cat.

“When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular Name.”